Then, The Upside Occurs

On the other hand, my dears, what this article proves is that there is now scientific and empircal evidence to show that we are NOT failures.

The people on diet adds? The ones who show off a trim and pretty figure after holding out their fat pants? Those people are freaks. Your average individual is not capable of joining WW or Jenny Craig and losing lots of weight and keeping it off long-term. It's the long-term keeping it off that's the thing. We can't do it.

I'm jealous of the freaks, but I'm no longer going to think that there's something wrong with me if I can't drop 50 pounds and keep it off. Science shows that there is NOTHING wrong with me. That eating a little better and trying to get in a little bit more excercise would probably help, and that trying to maintain is probably the best way to go.

I wish I was a 100lb losing freak, but I'm afraid I'm a non-losing normal.

You're normal! I'm normal!

Enough of the diets. Enough.

OH FUCKING HELL YOU FUCKING FUCKERS

Originally linked here.

Dieting Does Not Work, Researchers Report:

"What happens to people on diets in the long run?" Mann
asked. "Would they have been better off to not go on a diet at all? We decided
to dig up and analyze every study that followed people on diets for two to five
years. We concluded most of them would have been better off not going on the
diet at all. Their weight would be pretty much the same, and their bodies would
not suffer the wear and tear from losing weight and gaining it all back."

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKERS.

That's it. THAT'S IT, science! Do you hear me? You have fucked with me for the last time!

I'm going off any diet other than trying to eat like a reasonable person and then when I'm done having kids I'm getting Lap Band bariatric surgery if I still feel fat and FUCK Y'ALL and your weight watchers and your slim fast shakes.