Help Me See the Light

So, I got sick again. That is some bad news. The further bad news is that today, three treatments into some heavy antibiotics, I couldn't stand it anymore and tried going to the gym at lunchtime.

I had to walk there, find my way around, get dressed, find a treadmill (of course, one that was right in front of the mirror. Hooray! Get to watch my fat ass run!) and the Bally's had their heat set on "HELL".

For the first ten minutes I walked fast and ran. I ran for two minutes, then I ran for three and a half minutes and then I died.

Honest to god, I tried to walk fast after that but I got dizzy and felt so, so much like I was going to puke.

Please remind me that this is what I want: fit and fun!

Please remind me that this is what it is not: a contest.

I don't have to be there tomorrow. I can have to take a break and it's just tough titties if I gain a little when I stop. Right eating would help, and I'm working on that, but emotionally beating myself up for having to take a week off because I'm sick does nobody nogood nohow.

Mostly now I feel like crap.

I hate being sick.

PS - I'm on a diet of no white sugar, no white flour. Good thing I didn't look at the ingredients before I guzzled down two vitamin waters after my "workout".

Nice. Real nice.