Food as Pampering??

Interestingly, and hang with me here, this is going to get weird, I have been considering lately about using food as a method of pampering.

The weird part is that when I talk about this, I'm not talking about ice cream or cookies or cakes or other sweets or things that come pre-wrapped.

I will wait for you to revive...

Seriously, I have a huge history of hating the kitchen and everything about it. I have a food-touching phobia and will tell anyone that I possess no instincts when it comes to having things come out together on time. Of course, those instincts would be hard to procure with almost no history of doing any "cooking" other than "warming stuff up".

Recently, for my birthday, my husband took me out for a dinner that was truly spectacular. Eating like that, of course, would kill me in about a month, but the one thing that struck me over and over again was that with food that flavorful I really only had to eat a bite or two before I was "full". With food that flavorful my mouth told me nice and early on that I was done eating because it was in such extacy it could not take any more.

Then, two days later I went to the spa and had a five hour session of pampering, including a full hour sweedish massage and a facial. During the mani/pedi session I was talking to a woman who's sister-in-law does the spa every month. Once a month she goes in for a day away from the world and gets physical touch that is all about relaxing her, gets her hair and hands and face mooshed around and played with. Basically gets her skin tingled once a month, including between her toes.

I can understand why a person would do that once a month.

Ad campaigns will often come out for a yogurt or apples or something that says, in essence, treat your insides to a spa. I never got that. Really got it.

After this birthday and how I felt after the amazing food and the amazing spa, I think I'm starting to understand.

What if I started feeding myself and my family fresh food, well-prepared, on a regular basis? What if I just start with one recepie? One, that requires things made from their basic elements into something else? What if it was healthy and flavorful and tastey? Not rich and heavy or sugary, but zingy? Would I feel pampered?

I think, maybe, for the first time in my life, I might.

Does it Ever End?

Steph at Back in Skinny Jeans has had a rough time lately. A breakup, a new place to live, new job. Recently she's gained back five of the pounds she'd lost and, to me, her newest vblog sounds like someone who is going through classic depression.

She's a determined woman, but in her vblog she asks, does it ever end? Does the work ever end?

The idea she posits is that folks will say that you have to simply choose to be healthy. While that is certainly fundimentally true, it is also a gross oversimplification of the human process.

Watch her vblog:



I feel for Steph. I remember when The Troublemaker and I split and I was pretty sure that I'd be happiest if I just lay down on the ground and never bothered getting up again. I remember that. It's awful.

And, if you're reading this Steph, often enough a rough day at work will be enough to knock me off my game. You've just had a major upheaval. I'm not sure how you can be strict with your diet and still be easy with yourself, but try to be easy with yourself if you can. You're still doing really well. I'd still call you a success!

Head over to her blog and offer her a word of support if you have the time. Hang in there, Steph!

Success on the Vacation of Luuurve

I have a lot to tell you (which is what I'm flash-posting everywhere), but right now I'm still all jetlagged. What I did want to say is that my vacation against self-weirdness and hate was a total success. I put on dresses every day and wore makeup. I look worse in the photos that I've seen from the trip than I felt. Actually, throughout the thing I felt pretty damned good! I relaxed and enjoyed myself and my husband and my kid.

So what if I was fatter than I felt? So what if everyone else around me weighed less? I still dressed well, I acted young and flirty, I held myself with pride. My husband sure seemed to like it and that's all I need to say about that.

The super-de-duper dress worked a treat and I'll be posting photos of it over at Speckblog soon. It made my tits look awesome, if I do say so myself.

I also danced for five hours on Friday night. I got down. I sweated sheets of sweat and jumped around and shook my hair and I'm sure there are 6000 photos out there of me looking jiggly and stupid and many-chinned, but man did I feel amazing. Everyone wanted to dance with me. Everyone wanted my picture and I don't think that it was because I looked so amazingly stupid. At least, not too often.

I felt wonderful.

Then, on the way to work today I discovered that I suddenly began hating myself.

Ah. The culprit emerges.

Suddenly I know what's causing most of my self-esteem issues and I am very, very happy that I'm working on a new career.

Life is good. Look for dress pics because they are on their way.

I look wonderful, and so do you. Trust me. Nothing is as attractive as self-esteem.

How to Look Good Naked

How to Look Good Naked is a show currently running in the UK. It deals with real bodies with "boobs, butts and tummies" and how to dress them up and how to feel about them when they are undressed. I've not seen it, but only seen the website. I'm impressed so far, however, and really like the Naked Rules that they've listed. I think the first two stages they list are very important:

Stage 1: Face Your Fears
Take your clothes off in front of a mirror and have a long hard look at yourself
For many of our ladies, taking their clothes off in front of anyone had became a massive ordeal. Stripping off in front of a mirror and taking a good hard look at yourself in the first step to facing your fears and building up your confidence.

Stage 2: Change Your Self-Perception
You're not as big as you think you are
The media bombard us all with unrealistic airbrushed images of women every day. These images of the stick thin, surgically enhanced women aren't very realistic but these images portray women as beautiful and successful so it's hard for normal women not to want to be like them. However, most normal women do not look like them so these pictures enforce feelings of negativity and encourage low self esteem.

So, the second stage of looking good naked is to start waking up to the way the media works and stop comparing these images to the way you look. Wake up to the fact that you actually look pretty ok, that you aren't as big as you think you are AND look at all the women around you – I bet most of them are the same as you.

Even Flabuless, who is trying to lead a life that is healthier and more realistic has said that she dislikes the look of fat flesh, so ipso facto, she dislikes the look of herself. I think that many of the women I know dislike the way they look. I think it's sad that I spend so much time disliking myself. Hell, I'm the only person I can control, shouldn't I actually like me?!? I could be my one ace-in-the-hole for approval!

I have to say that while getting my makeup done and finding sexy jeans and getting a new dress I felt empowered as often as I felt overwhelmed. I looked bad sometimes, but sometimes I also looked good. I had moments where my perspective shifted and I actually saw myself as I believe others must see me and, man, I'm not nearly as fat as I feel.

This vacation to London is going to be important, I think. I have a successful, polite, adorable and secure three year old son. I have a hot, successful, adored, talented brilliant husband who loves me to no end. I myself am successful at work, am working on a new career that is tailor-made for my skill set and I'm well-spoken, smart, and well put-together. We have a house, healthy well-cared-for pets, vehicles and everything else that could possibly indicate a life on the track to good things.

This vacation I'm going to try and wallow in my success and love everyone, including myself. It's time to take a break from negativity. This vacation is going to be the Vacation of Lurve.

Feel free to jot that down.

The Perfect Dress!

I found it! I found it! I found it! I found it!

The perfect dress!!

I went for a last-ditch effort today and stopped by Nieman Marcus thinking that they wouldn't have anything. They had several things! Several things that fit! And didn't look frumpy! And then I picked this dress up off the shelf in Cobalt Blue:





YAYAYAYAYAYAY! It's just gorgeous. It fits me perfectly, and highlights everything that I want highlighted and hides the stuff I want to hide. It's a dark cobalt blue, so nothing bright or showy; it can be dressed down for the early afternoon wedding and dressed up for the fancy evening reception.

HOORAY!





I look hot and stylish! HOORAY! HOORAY FOR ME HOT AND SYLISH!

HOORAY!

Less Personal, Please

Or: The Power of Makeup

As my mate is slowly dropping a phenomenal amount of pounds by slamming on the treadmill every day like a superstah, and my mother sheds weight like water off a duck's back, I have stalled in my downward progress.

The illness crashed me out, the I wrenched my back, and then I had a killer period and am only now beginning to feel human again. Add to that my eating for comfort and I've been going the wrong way on the scale.

So I don't fit into the purple dress and am going to have to go get a last-minute emergency dress and I've been generally feeling crappy, ugly and unlovable.

However, I am determined that if we're attending the wedding of the fashion editor of the London Telegraph we will all look put together. Not necessarily fashion saavy, because we aren't, but the frump has got to go. Wallace has a new wardrobe primarily from H&M, I have sexy jeans and several dresses, as well as new boots to wear, and last night TT slid his hot new bod into a Calvin Klein suit that rocks.

Yesterday I also updated my makeup. Enough of this scrounging at the grocery store, I say! It's time to spend a little cash and get a few quality items! I procured some fancy makeup from the Nars counter at Nordstroms and within seconds of leaving the counter was hit on mercilessly.

On the escallator up a 30ish good looking guy is in front of me. He stares. I wonder what the hell he's staring about.

Guy: Do you know what floor this is?
Me: Um, third.
Guy: Okay. *pauses* See, I'm looking for something really specific.
Me: **
Guy: A pair of sheer pajama bottoms.
Me *wondering what the hell is wrong with this guy*: I don't work here.
Guy *embarassed*: I know you don't work here. I was just getting, you know, personal.
Me: Less personal would be better.

And that, my friends, is the power of makeup.

These are good carbs??

In my never ending search for easy to make/eat food I sometimes pick up a package of the latest diet trend food. I think I tried Slim fast years ago. Then came the Weight Watchers Meals ( and all the other frozen diet food). Unfortunately, Weight Watchers was easy to handle until they started all those frozen deserts too.

Let's see, frozen entree or frozen ice cream sandwich.......Hummmmmm. The way I saw it, "points is points." oooooooooo......chocolate brownie thingy....

I also saw me wolfing down TWO fake ice cream sandwiches instead of eating anything that my body could actually use. I had to give up on the convenience foods. They were always just an unsatisfying pit stop on the way to the land of chronic food abuse. They never tasted good enough or filled me up enough. You see, I really like food. I like good food. However, bad food is a waste of time.

Well folks, I've done it again.

I was grocery shopping this afternoon and the lure of easy food proved too much. I picked up a South Beach Diet Santa Fe Style lunch. I was captivated by its picture. Not frozen, and there is chicken, a bowl, cheese, CHIPS and DIET JELLO. Holy crap. There are 240 calories, 6gs of fat, 29 gs of Protein, and best of all....24 grams of Carbohydrates!! I could totally eat this and still have 5 gms of carbs left over for lunch !!!! AND I was starved....

I drove home, put the groceries on the counter and grub around until I found the South Beach Box. While grubbing I passed up some really yummy bread, a beautiful feta cheese, some walnuts and a variety of other things.

I briefly thought about making sandwich instead. I usually have a piece of multi-grain bread, a serving of tasty tuna with light mayo and a couple of romaine leafs. I include apple slices or a peach and maybe my protein drink if I need to protein grms. I'm always very satisfied with this lunch. I actually LIKE this lunch. It's real food. It's in my 'fridge and always available.

So anyway, I ripped open the box eager to see the delicious and generous portions of food I had imagined.

As I pulled out the tiny package of itty bitty chicken, the little package of shredded bland cheese, the leeetle bowl and the leeetle spoon I knew I had done it again. Still in denial, I was hoping that the Chipotle chips were awesome. I guess I was hoping they tasted like, I donno, Fritos??? I was hoping and hoping.

But...no. The lunch was a disappointment. Everything was so inferior to what I would have made for myself it was insulting. However, I had bought it and I had made it, so I ate it. But it was pretty bad. I sniffled just thinking of all the great food I passed while I was grubbing for this sorry excuse for a lunch. It was another big waste of time.

Oh me. Oh my.

I suppose I will never be immune to the charms of Madison Avenue. But I would like to think that I learn by my mistakes. Sitting here still sort of hungry and feeling foolish I wonder if I ever will.

So tell me. What food mistakes seem to haunt you like a stinky ghost? Do you have food lessons that you just can't seem to learn?

Stuck in 90' somethin'

During a recent visit from Krissy my self image was slightly shaken. It wasn't anything bad or hurtful just surprising. Here's what happened.

While sitting on our family room sofa and watching some silly late night show together, Krissy started teasing about our shockingly outdated TV. It is an old console TV. We do have cable on it but you have to actually get up to turn it on/off and to change the volume. It is huge. Not screen wise, just cabinet wise. Oh, and it is 18 years old.

I'm ashamed to say that the whole family has a lot of fun teasing Grandpa P about this TV. You see, he thinks it's great. Of course he knows it's hopelessly out of date but it still works and being the left brainier that he is he sees no reason to get rid of it.

I respect that. I even love that in him. (After all I'm sort of out of date myself) But it does give the family endless opportunity to tease at his expense. Then Krissy said something that surprised me. She started teasing me that the sofa and love seat we were sitting on were straight out of the 90's and didn't I think it was time to update.

What?

The sofa and love seat that I had bought? That I had planned the room around?

Sure it needed cleaning. No bad problems but a good cleaning. And, yes it was a plaid. I’ll even admit the funny looking pillows that came with it are flat and strange, but I never considered that it made the house look out of date. Hummmmm. What should I do? Here's the thing.

We will be moving to our “forever home” in about 4 years. I'm hoping we will be down south in the land of eternal good weather. Most of what we have in our colonial home in Maryland is not going to make the move with us. It's just too northern. Too colonial. I'm longing for tropical colors and open spaces.

”Ah-HA!” you say, “Perfect. Buy a new set now and buy something you will want to move with you.”

But, I have discovered that I have just enough Grandpa P in me to realize that in our world, that's just plain silly. Without knowing exactly where we are going and what we are going to need, I'm kidding myself by thinking that what I buy now will be what I want when we start "the best years of our lives"

The bottom line is we are not going to buy new furniture again until we are in our forever home. It's just that simple.

However, I don't really want to look out of date. I regularly buy slip covers, wrangle them onto the furniture, decide they look way to tacky, return them and end up living with my old furniture after all. Ugh. So, I have four years of the “same old same.”

Which brings me to my point. (Gottcha! And you thought I didn't have a point!)

Consider:

Variety and change keeps life updated. It has just occurred to me that one of the things that I love about food is that it is a very quick and fulfilling way to make changes. After all, no one has ever made a four year plan for a loaf of bread. Actually, you could make a daily plan for changing your bread and even the most left brain thinker in the world, Grandpa P, would applaud you. What a wonderful way to forget about things in life that are not changing any time soon. I also believe the majority of our lives are made up of those slow changing things. Really, think about it.

So we cook and we buy food from the store and we go to restaurants and we try every one of the items on the McD's dollar menu. And, well, maybe there is a connection there? I don’t know.

Maybe not. All I really know is that I have to learn how to take advantage of the fabulous changeable quality of food because, seriously, it doesn't take long for eggbeaters and toast to start looking like old furniture to me.

The trick is to make sure the changes are healthy ones. For me, that is going to be a big challenge.

What do you think?

In a world in which we have so little power to change things, do you use food because it is a deeply satisfying (not to mention legal) way to bring changes into your life?