Saturday, March 01, 2008

Losing the Lost

Ugh, there is this challange going around right now, Peeps. It involves writing a letter to one's body. Without fail I have seen, over and over again, women writing to tell their bodies, perhaps a little grudgingly, that they love them. I think that is awesome, for them. Me? My letter (the short version) would look something like this:

Dear Body,

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. How you continue to function while being totally and completely fucking useless is beyond me. A big old thank you for the gorgeous kid, but beyond that, go fuck yourself.

KP


It's not pretty, I know it isn't, but let us take the recent events as proof that I really really hate the way my system is set up. Here I am, as usual, finally getting off my ass, making an effort to get us cleaned up. What do I get?

Flu
Secondary Pneumonia
Antibiotics that mean I have to be treated for a systemic yeast infection
Antibiotics that mean that my Intersticial Cystitis is back and I cannot:
Eat anything nice
Have sex
Pee
Breathe .... without pain
Hemorrhoids - because, really, why not?!

I lost some weight early in the process, as you do when you spend the entire day sleeping instead of eating, but as quickly as my body responds to excercise is as quickly as it falls back. I feel like I've lost all my returned muscle, lost my momentum, and I'm just as fatty fat fat as I've ever been.

Today I took my last antibiotic pill (YAY!) and I'm not feeling so awful I want to die for the first time in two weeks, so I have made a deal with myself -

I am going to do an experiment to see if I can watch a Harry Potter video on my computer while on either the treadmill or the recumbant bike. I was going to do my nails first, but as I've procrastinated until 11pm, that might be a little "ambitious". Movie+Moving. This is my hope.

I have a big old post about the difference in weight loss before and after you have kids, but that's hanging out in the back of my head.

Here's hoping I don't break a limb or something tonight! Wish me luck!

*snarl*

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